The King James Virgin

Isaac & Ishmael: The Monotheist Gets Polyamorous

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about Abraham, Sarah, Hagar, and how the three of them tried to do God’s work for him. Nick learns that sometimes you’ve got to give up a little skin to get a new name.

Abram Has a Hot Wife/Sister

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about Abram’s (aka: Abraham) early life. Adam, Alan, and Nick learn that maybe Abraham made his millions from donkey futures.

Hells Bells: Nick and Adam Watched a Doc, Part 2

In this episode, Nick and Adam watch the second half of the documentary: Hells Bells: The Dangers of Rock’N'Roll. Nick learns that maybe Pan was a lot more common in the 70s than he is today.

Hells Bells: Nick and Adam Watched a Doc, Part 1

In this episode, Nick and Adam watch the first half of the documentary: Hells Bells: The Dangers of Rock’N'Roll. Nick learns that Adam is SUPER triggered by the ridiculous content of late-80s conservative rhetoric.

Judith is Not Lilith

In this episode, Nick tells Alan and Adam about Judith AND Lilith. Nick learns that Alan puts in a ton of work, and does not envy him.

Ranking Sin with Will (an Ex-Pastor)

In this episode, Adam and Nick talk to Adam’s friend Will about sin. Adam and Will learn that Nick’s lack of religious upbringing was even better than they assumed.

David is Undignified (and Uzzah Dies)

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about David dancing before the lord (and Uzzah kicking the bucket). Adam and Alan learn that Nick sometimes offends his customer’s sensibilities.

Psalms 23: David Plays the Harp and Jacob Plows

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about Psalms 23. Nick learns that “praise band” can be a triggering phrase.

The Temptation of Christ Was Probably A Vision Quest

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about the temptation of Christ. Nick learns that the wilderness is more than just the forest.

Hophni & Phinehas: They're Bad, They're Priests, They're Gonna Die

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick the second half of Samuel’s story. Nick learns that God likes to kill 50,000 dudes, just for peaking.