The King James Virgin

The Ark of the Covenant Will Melt Your Face Off

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about the Ark of the Covenant. Nick learns that, apparently, God has a wide, yet shallow butt.

Bible Battle Bracket- Round III

In this episode, once again, Alan and Adam battle it out in a tournament setup by Nick. Nick learns that Margot is out for blood, and she doesn’t care who’s standing in her way!

The Tabernacle: Intense Incense in Tents

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about the tabernacle. Nick learns that when priests be hungry, they prefer big ass bread.

Samuel: The Tiny Lil' Baby Prophet

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about Samuel as a child. Nick learns that robes can be deadly.

666: The Number of the Beast

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about the mark/number of the beast from Revelation. Nick learns that his past experience with Cats has prepared him well for the more esoteric parts of the Bible.

Gideon and His Band of Weirdos

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about the Gideon. Nick learns that there’s more to this dude than just leaving Bibles in hotel rooms.

Fire Snakes on a Stick

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about the Children of Israel and the Plague of Fire Snakes. Nick learns that fire snakes are probably a lot grosser than they sound.

Ruth Gleans a Husband

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick the story of Ruth. Nick learns that he should have been on the lookout for his most attractive cousin.

Hosea and Gomer: A Life of Harlotry

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick the story of Hosea and Gomer. Nick learns Alan has incredibly strong feelings about raisins.

Evie's Catholic Corner - Saints: Wilgefortis and Corona

In this episode, Evie tells Alan, Adam, and Nick about the Saints Wilgefortis and Corona. Everyone learns that palm trees can sometimes be more interesting than Jesus in a dress.