The King James Virgin

Good Samaritan and a Couple of A-holes

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about the parable of the Good Samaritan. Nick learns that maybe all priests are Levites, but not all Levites are priests…or maybe all Levites are priests, honestly we’re not sure.

Moses Does Some Magic, Part 2 of 2

In this episode, Alan and Adam start to tell Nick about the story of Moses. Nick learns that Pharaoh was real bad at keeping his word, but, also, Moses and Aaron were SUPER naive.

Moses Does Some Magic, Part 1 of 2

In this episode, Alan and Adam start to tell Nick about the story of Moses. Nick learns that when your wife throws foreskins at your feet, the message is up to interpretation.

Bible Battle Bracket - Round 1

In this episode, Alan and Adam battle it out as Nick hosts a bracket of the biblical characters we’ve met so far. Nick and Adam learn that there’s a fine line between loving God and loving cocaine.

Joseph Might Have Sleeves, Part 2 of 2

In this episode, Alan and Adam continue to tell Nick about the story of Joseph. Nick learns Joseph was a really sensitive guy.

Joseph Might Have Sleeves, Part 1 of 2

In this episode, Alan and Adam start to tell Nick about the story of Joseph. Nick learns that too much sass ends up with your ass in a pit.

Balaam and His Talking Ass

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about the story of Balaam and the talking donkey. Nick learns that when your ass starts talking, you should listen, it might just save your life.

Prodigal Son Has a Good Dad (and a Shitty Brother)

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about the story of the Prodigal Son. Nick learns that Adam has a very strong distrust of carob being passed off as chocolate.

David Uses an Effective Weapon

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about the story of David and Goliath. Nick learns that Joel Embiid could take Goliath in a fight.

Joshua Commits Genocide

In this episode, Alan and Adam tell Nick about the story of Joshua and the Battle of Jericho. Nick learns that some really popular Bible stories are much darker than Alan and Adam remember.